As Covid Case Numbers Rise, So Does Anxiety for Youth Going Back to School. What Can Parents Do to Help?
Photo by Chris Hardy on Unsplash
It’s August, and Summer is in full swing! The days are long and hot, the beach is packed, and joyful peals of laughter and giddy screams rise daily from the communal pool below my balcony. However, in the therapy room this week I noticed a very different vibe. Along with cheerful stories about family vacations and summer camp, I saw anxiety symptoms spiking, undercurrents of depression, bad dreams, and off-track behaviors. And I listened as young folks openly shared their divided feelings of dread and excitement about going back to school in-person.
That’s right, It’s almost back to school time. How did that happen so soon? It seems like only yesterday schools were getting out, Covid restrictions were loosening, and the world was finally expanding beyond our living rooms! Yet now, amid the summer sun and fun, the Delta variant looms, and many young people are experiencing worries and fears about what their world will be like when they return to school this month.
2020-2021 FOR KIDS - THE STATISTICS
Let’s face it, 2020-2021 was a long, rough year for kids. With Covid-19 restrictions, schools closing-reopening-closing, physical distancing, isolation, and multiple unexpected changes in their lives, all kids have struggled to some degree, and youth struggling with mental health challenges have been especially vulnerable. Let’s take a look at some statistics.
· Back in April, 2020, a Gallup poll revealed that 29% of youth were already struggling with mental health challenges due to Covid, with 14% “approaching their limits,” and 23% saying they could stand the pressure “a few more months” (Calderon, 2020). Well, a ‘few more months’ have passed, so the research suggests that by the end of the 2020-2021 school year, around 66% of youth may have been experiencing mental health challenges!
· A Jed Foundation national survey in the fall of 2020 “found that fundamental fears about the pandemic…cause more anxiety for teenagers than keeping up on their academics or getting ready for college” (Sparks, 2021). This research suggests that going back to in-person, full time school will be a difficult adjustment for many kids. There also may be long-term impacts from the pandemic on transitioning to college and beyond. Youth will need to develop new social-emotional tools to cope with the ongoing stress and uncertainty in order to better focus on academic growth.
· According to a Mental Health National (MHN) report (Reinert, Nguyen, & Fritze, 2020), it’s young people who are struggling most with their mental health in 2020-2021. Statistics showed “youth ages 11-17 have been more likely than any other age group to score for moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression,” with rates of suicidal ideation showing highest among youth, especially LGBTQ+ youth.
· Additionally, MHN poll numbers suggested that as 2020 progressed, many young folks and adults who were already impacted by the stresses of Covid also reported an increase in worries and fears about social and political unrest. (Reinert et al., 2020).
WHAT ISSUES ARE YOUTH FACING AS THE 2021-2022 SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS?
1. Kids’ resilience is depleted - The statistics above strongly suggest that youth have been greatly impacted by the events of this last year, with many kids experiencing increased mental health issues. Due to these impacts, kids are heading into the new school year with a depleted capacity to handle or bounce back from stress and challenges. As we Community Resilience Model (CRM) practitioners would say, their ‘Resilient Zones’ are much narrower right now. The good news is, ‘Resilient Zones’ can be expanded!
2. Resilience is depleted in educators too! - This last year has also been one of the hardest ever on teachers, administrators, and school staff. Kids and educators alike will be facing so many unknowns as the new year begins, and educators will bear the brunt of that uncertainty, as well as the logistical pressures of mask regulations and weekly testing requirements in public schools. Research from 2020 and 2021 suggests that concerns about burnout in educators rose from 25% to almost 60% last year, with 25% of teachers reporting they planned to leave the profession (Gewertz, 2021). These numbers are supported by the personal reports I hear from my clients and colleagues who are school teachers, psychologists, and social workers, with many of them suffering from PTSD-like symptoms. That means that the adults who support our youth are also struggling with narrower Resilient Zones. Additionally, while educators and staff will be working hard to support kids the best they can, they are woefully under-staffed and under-resourced, and, inevitably, some kids will fall through the cracks.
3. The uncertainty and stress continue - Kids see and feel the increased troubles in the world, through the news as well as picking up on the anxieties of adults around them. Kids are not innocent or blind, as much as we would like to imagine. In addition to uncertainty about what school will be like amid Covid safety measures, fears about the Delta variant, the impact of Covid on loved ones, the pressures of in-person learning, family finances and job insecurities, ongoing social and political unrest, interactions on social media (for good or ill), and climate change, to name a few, are all fodder for anxiety and depression in young folks to varying degrees.
4. Starting over - Many kids made the jump to Elementary, Junior High or High School during the online 2020-2021 school year. These transitions can already be highly stressful and anxiety provoking during the best of times. For many of these kids, this year will feel like the first day at a new school all over again, with triple the stress!
5. Isolation Awkwardness - Kids have had very little practice with social-emotional skills over the last 18 months and are unused to the daily routines of in-person learning. Their bandwidth for being in high stimulus environments with other kids may be lower. Children’s distress tolerance will inevitably be lower as well, and they may have trouble at first learning to deal with other personalities and behaviors. Also, some kids with previously existing social-emotional challenges actually thrived in online learning. Thus, these kids may face significant increases in mental health challenges as they move back into in-person environments. Finally, youth who are Highly Sensitive (HSPs), are on the Autism spectrum, or experience ADHD, may be especially impacted by the transition to the new routines of in-person learning.
6. Social and peer related anxieties - The transition to in-person learning is especially fraught with peer-based anxieties. I often hear statements from my clients such as, “I’m different now, will my friends still like me? Will they reject me?” Let’s be honest, this last year has challenged and changed us all! From obvious changes like the ‘Covid-15’ (or 19, or 20) pounds many of us gained, to more subtle changes such as the impacts of grief and loss. Or the emotional changes, or growth, gained from struggling with mental health. The kids and adolescents I work with have seen hardship, lost loved ones, lost some of their ‘innocence,’ and also gained some wisdom. They have passed through a threshold and are different people, and they worry that other youth won’t like or accept them for who they are now.
7. Academic Anxiety - Finally, unless your kids went to some magical Hogwarts type school, they most likely fell behind in their academics to some degree. Many kids struggled with online learning. Kids who thought of themselves as ‘smart’ or accomplished may have lost faith in their ability to learn and achieve. Going back to in-person learning and facing these deficits, in front of their peers and admired adults, is a daunting prospect for many young people. Fear of failure and the shame that accompanies it is ever present for many kids, especially the ‘perfectionists.’
WHAT ARE SOME SIGNS MY KID MIGHT BE STRUGGLING?
There are many indicators that a young person may be struggling emotionally as they head into, and through, the next school year.
· It may seem harder for your kid to face challenges, or to bounce back from hurts. You might see them procrastinating more than usual, or completely avoiding academic tasks. Or you might see your kid avoiding social activities and engagements.
· You might see increased behaviors of acting out or defiance. Or your kid might seem more irritable, restless, and easily angered. You also might see increased ‘attention seeking’ behaviors. (Yes, they are seeking your attention, it’s a cry for connection and help!)
· Your kid might seem extra sensitive, easily upset, or cry more than usual, or perhaps they are having tantrums that are not usual for their age or developmental stage.
· Kids might show regressive behavior, talking or behaving younger than their age, or exhibiting regressive symptoms such as bedwetting.
· Your kid might be more withdrawn than usual, isolating themselves and avoiding family or friends.
· Your kid might have trouble sleeping, sleeping too little, or maybe sleeping way too much. Or perhaps having increased bad dreams or nightmares.
THAT’S MY KID! WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
So how can we support our kids, and ourselves, to work through these challenges and increase resilience as we head into the new school year?
1. Put your resilience mask on first! Before engaging with your kids, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you currently feeling any distress, worry? Perhaps ask yourself, what fears and anxieties do YOU have about your kids right now? How are those fears and worries showing up in how you react or respond to their behaviors? What skills could you use to bring yourself back to a sense of balance or peace, so that you can approach your kids from a place of calm and resilience?
Curious about learning resilience skills? Click here for more information!
2. From a place of resilience, invite your kids to talk, and see if there are ways to support them. Although their behaviors and words may feel exasperating, try to withhold judgement and get CURIOUS. (Remember, kids don’t have adult emotional maturity, so their feelings show up through behaviors!) Practice active listening, simply by acknowledging their words, and perhaps repeating back the words to see if you heard them right. See if you can uncover their needs collaboratively with them and discuss how those needs might be addressed. For example, if your kid is anxious about starting at a new school, perhaps can you visit the school before it opens, to help your kid get acclimated and know where things are to reduce their anxiety.
3. Get and give clarity. Kids usually respond well to clear facts and information. So, find out what facts you can and share them with them. If there are unknowns, acknowledge them and share with your kids how you will address those unknowns together.
4. Learn about what mental health supports and Social-Emotional curriculum your school offers, then get involved. Many schools are offering social-emotional learning curriculums to their students these days, and some schools are actively involving parents. If your school has a social-emotional curriculum, find out how you can learn it as well, so you can better support your kid with the skills. However, your school may not have a social-emotional program, or very good mental health support even. Indeed, while the 2021 federal Covid-19 relief package includes grants to support youth suicide prevention and child trauma interventions, it does not provide direct funding for schools for student mental health (Sparks, 2021). As mental health needs continue to rise in schools, school psychologists, counselors and social workers are often spread way too thin! If this is the case at your school, it may be helpful for you to seek additional mental health or social-emotional support outside of school.
I THINK MY KID NEEDS EXTRA SUPPORT. WHERE CAN I FIND IT?
Is your kid struggling with mental health or social-emotional issues as they head back to school? Below are some links to information, resources, and support, including some groups I offer at my practice.
· Find a therapist who specializes in children/adolescents – I, of course, offer individual and family therapy for youth and adults of all ages using a holistic, mind-body-soul approach. For more information or to schedule a free consultation, click here. If we find that I am not the right fit for you or your child, I can provide you with referrals for other highly skilled therapists.
· Enroll in a Resilience Skills Group – I am currently offering resilience skills groups for youth and adults, using the Community Resilience Model (CRM). CRM is designed to teach individuals of all ages ways to increase their own wellness and resiliency and to help others in their family or community to do so as well. The skills are aimed at empowering individuals to respond, rather than react, to stressful events. Interested in learning more about CRM and CRM skills groups? Just click on the links below.
o Skills Groups – www.michellemft.com/groupsclasses
o Learn more about CRM - https://www.traumaresourceinstitute.com/
· Become educated about Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) – SEL is an integral part of human development, but it is only recently that educational institutions have begun to incorporate SEL into curriculums, and many schools are still way behind the curve. However, there are also ways outside of school that you can support your kid with SEL. Here are some resources to learn more about SEL below.
o https://seelearning.emory.edu/node/5
o https://casel.org/in-the-home-3/books/
· Discover other SEL and mental health groups in your community – Below are a few links to other organizations and practitioners who offer groups, classes, and support for kids with SEL, Mental Health, or Neuro-diverse challenges. If you know of any others, feel free to message me and I will add them to the list!
o Free Teen Support Group – at the Southern CA Counseling Center. Contact Kristen Welke, Outreach Services Clinical Coordinator - kwelke@sccc-la.org
o Improv for SEL! - Camps and Workshops - https://zipzapzopenrichment.com/
o Info/Support for youth on the ASD spectrum -https://www.aspergerexperts.com/
CONCLUSION
Current research is leading experts to suggest that the effects of this pandemic on young people will be felt for years to come (Sparks, 2021). How these impacts are felt, though, is up to us, adults and children alike. Youth have the same emotions as adults, but they often don’t yet know how to talk about difficult feelings, and so through their behaviors they call for help. “Supporting children now will have big payoffs later,” states Enedina Vázquez, PhD, a professor of school psychology at New Mexico State University and president of APA’s Div. 16 [School Psychology] (Weir, 2020). By attending to and supporting kids’ mental health and social emotional learning now, stressful and traumatic experiences can be emotionally processed, and skills can be learned which lead to post-traumatic growth, as well as a deeper sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. So, enjoy the summer with your family! Expand your own resilience and explore ways to expand your children’s resilience as well. And, as always, be there for your kids, with curiosity and compassion, ready to ride the waves of emotion as that first day of school approaches.
References
Calderon, Valerie J. (2020) U.S. Parents Say COVID-19 Harming Child's Mental Health. Gallup News, Wellbeing section. Retrieved from https://news.gallup.com/poll/312605/parents-say-covid-harming-child-mental-health.aspx
Gewertz, Catherine (2021) Teachers’ Mental Health Has Suffered in the Pandemic: Here’s How Districts Can Help. Education Week. Retrieved from https://www.edweek.org/leadership/teachers-mental-health-has-suffered-in-the-pandemic-heres-how-districts-can-help/2021/05
Reinert, M., Nguyen, T., & Fritze, D. (2020) 2021: The State of Mental Health in America. Alexandria, VA: Mental Health America, Inc.
Sparks, Sarah D. (2021) Data: What We Know About Student Mental Health and the Pandemic Education Week. Retrieved from https://www.edweek.org/leadership/data-what-we-know-about-student-mental-health-and-the-pandemic/2021/03
Weir, Kirsten (2020) Safeguarding student mental health: COVID-19 and its repercussions are shining a light on the critical need for school-based mental health services. APA Monitor on Psychology, 51(6). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/09/safeguarding-mental-health